--Did you check out the theme for the dance?
"Starry, Starry Night."
Lame or what?
Definitely the lamest.
Oh, my God, I forgot it was the yearbook.
You like this color?
I've got an idea.
Excuse me. Is anyone in here?
Um, I have an emergency.
It's a girl thing.
What's that little disk thing?
I don't know.
Maybe a deodorizer or something?
Hmm.
You think they're supposed to hit it or avoid it?
Beats me.
So, what am I going to wear?
To what?
Hello, the dance.
You just said how lame it was going to be.
Yeah, well,
Michael Cassutt kind of begged me.
You're not going to go?
No. No one asked me.
Well, you're probably lucky.
I don't think I'm gonna stay very long.
Oh, this is so gross.
"Girls with the best legs. Best butts."
Oh, you're kidding.
Look, you're here.
"Girls we most want to sleep with."
Number two.
Excuse me?
Who's number one?
Regina Lester.
Oh, figures. Slut.
Where are you?
I'm not on it.
Well, you've got to be here somewhere.
I'm not. Let's go.
Oh, there you are!
Where?
"Girls we most want to cheat off of."
Guys are stupid.
-Trash cans? -They're full.
Put it outside.
Just what I want to do right now. Housework.
Why did you have to say yes, Charlie?
What was I supposed to say?
One of Mom and Dad's best friends.
She hasn't seen us in three years.
She wanted to check in.
Great, exactly what I'm in the mood for.
A house-guest.
Where is she gonna sleep?
-Charlie's room. -Charlie's room.
Fine. I'll sleep on the couch.
Serves you right after what happened with Kirsten.
Hey, I'm interviewing a nanny today, okay, so lay off.
Jeez, why is everybody so crabby?
Kirsten.
Kate.
Mind your own business.
Greer...
I can't really remember what she looked like.
She's kind of pretty.
She was the one who sent that gigantic wreath after the funeral.
The one with the dried fruits of the world on it.
Yeah, the one we had to saw in half to get through the front door.
She babysat me once and let me dye my hair burgundy.
She sounds like fun.
Yeah, just what we're in the mood for...
-Fun. -Fun.
♪ Everybody wants to live ♪
♪ Like they wanna live ♪
♪ And everybody wants to love ♪
♪ Like they wanna love ♪
♪ And everybody wants to be ♪
♪ Closer to free Everybody wants to live ♪
♪ Like they wanna live ♪
♪ Everybody wants to love ♪
♪ Like they wanna love ♪
♪ Everybody wants to be ♪
♪ Closer to free ♪
I'm fascinated by the way kids develop and change.
They're so inventive.
I'm committed to child care for the next five or so years.
And after that?
Well, I know it sounds kind of dumb,
but eventually, I'd like to be an artist.
Oh. What do you paint?
It's sort of performance art.
I paint myself.
My body.
Heather, uh, you know...
Um, Owen's allergic to... To paint,
so, I'm afraid this isn't going to work out.
Right this way.
-Hey. -Hey.
What's the occasion?
Well, Wednesday, Isaac tries out new dishes,
and today is his Italian day, and he's making penne.
And since I know you love Italian food so much, I thought,
"Hey, I should tell Ross about this."
Well, I'm really not all that crazy about Italian, but--
Oh, well, it's not too Italian. It's...
Kind of, um...
Italian-Caribbean.
Yeah.
Mostly Caribbean.
Hello.
Uh, today's special is chicken Santa Fe.
Penne.
And penne.
Jeannie, this is Ross.
He's my violin teacher.
Ross, this is Jeannie.
-Hi. -Hi.
She loves violin music.
You do? Like what?
I like...
Well, you know, the usual.
Hey, we were just listening to Bruch's concerto in G minor the other day.
Oh, right.
I have to, uh...
Make a phone call.
Um... Would you like a drink?
Now, this is what I call a challenge.
Anchovies...
Capers...
Ooh, sun-dried tomatoes?
One of Thurber's chew toys.
That won't work. Too rubbery. Okay...
You don't have to make us dinner, Greer.
You just got here. Really.
Yeah, we can go out. It's no problem.
Hey, listen,
if I can't whip up a great dinner
out of a few stray ingredients, ooh--
My latest cookbook isn't worth the paper it's printed on.
Something out of Nothing: What to Cook when the Cupboard is Bare.
What do you think?
-I'd buy it. -Pasta?
Remind me to pick you guys up a set of galleys
when I go to my publisher's tomorrow.
Greer, you sure you don't want me to take your bags upstairs, get you settled in?
Oh, Bailey, I have days to settle in,
and who knows when I'll have all of you in the same room again?
I want to hear about everything that's going on.
Well, Bailey's in the 11th grade now, and Julia's in 10th...
Who cares about school? I want to know about your sex lives.
You haven't gone and fallen in love with a sailor, have you?
-Not lately. -Oh, phew.
Ooh.
Julia, how about you? Any gossip? Intrigue?
Not in my life.
Charlie cheated on this terrific nanny we had, so she split.
-That was kind of sordid. -Julia!
How about you, Bailey? Are you in love with anyone?
-Danger, danger. -Shut up.
I was seeing someone, but... Now it's over.
Boy, well, it may take more than a bowl of pasta to cheer you guys up,
but we'll start there.
I say...
We eat alfresco.
Who's he?
-It was good. -Oh, God, I'm so full.
Oh, good. That was the idea.
Hey, Jule, you're gonna help me out with these dishes, right?
I did them last night.
I'll do them as long as I can wash.
Old enough to fall in love, but too young to drink.
Actually, I've... I've got a pretty good routine going. I...
I put on depressing music, I lie in bed, and I stare at the ceiling.
So why did it end?
She...
She wants to wait till she's married.
To...
Oh, I get it.
I don't even know if I believe it. I mean,
if she felt the same way about me that I feel about her...
It's not like I'm a sex fiend or anything.
My friend, Will,
is trying to get me to go to this dance
this weekend, you know, meet someone new.
The thing is, I don't want to meet anyone else.
Oh, yes, you do. Sure you do.
There is someone else out there for you, Bailey.
Yeah, maybe in space.
Not on this planet.
Look, I'm going to be here for a week.
-Why don't you let me set you up? -No, no, no, no, no, no.
No, it's okay, really. You don't have to do anything.
Of course I do.
Everybody needs a little help from somebody at some time.
Your mom introduced me to my first husband...
And my second.
Oh, and look at that face.
Staring up at the ceiling. What a waste.
I'm on the case.
Bangs?
I don't know. What do you think?
I think you are starting to look more and more like your mother.
-I wish. -You do!
You have her eyes.
You definitely have her mouth.
I know, it's just...
Put it this way. Mom would have been invited to the stupid dance by now.
Do I have to give you a list of the spectacular women
who didn't go to the prom?
No. I know. It's just...
Some girls make an impression, and some don't, that's all.
What are you talking about?
Well, like you.
I mean, every time you walk in a room, people look up.
I guess I just always wished I could be that way.
You know, someone who's noticed.
I am sure you're noticed.
Yeah, for being on the honor roll.
What a thrill. I'm not even doing well anymore.
You know, I spend all this energy
trying to change who I am and what I do, and...
Still, that's all I'm known for, a brain.
I'm not...
I don't know, I just... I'm not special, you know?
Julia,
how can you say that?
Listen, when I saw you today, honestly,
my first reaction was, "My God, she's become a knockout!"
Sure, a knockout, that's me.
Don't tell me no one's told you that before.
Why would they?
Julia...
Look at yourself.
Why wouldn't they?
Claudia.
You, uh, forgot your music.
I was gonna pick it up at my lesson.
Well, I was in the neighborhood, so I...
So... How was Jeannie?
Uh, she was very nice.
She's kind of cute, don't you think?
She loves horseback riding.
Maybe that's what you guys could do on your next date.
Claudia, come here.
Uh... Jeannie and I aren't going to go out again.
Why not?
Because I'm gay.
Maybe I should have told you earlier. I just--
No.
It's okay.
Well, why should you?
You want to talk about it?
What's to talk about?
So you're gay.
No big deal.
Ew, gross.
-What is it? -It's wax.
When it dries, you rip it off and the hair comes off with it.
You're doing this on your own?
I mean, no one's making you?
Well, it doesn't leave any stubble,
so it's better than shaving for pictures.
What pictures?
Greer thinks I should have my pictures taken
by a friend of hers, a fashion photographer.
He's really well-known. He's discovered a lot of famous models.
Why would he take your picture?
Well, Greer kind of thinks maybe I could be a model.
Hmm, don't you have to be beautiful to be a model?
Yeah, I guess it is kind of stupid, huh?
Maybe I should just forget it.
Can I do it? Can I rip it off?
No. Get out.
Oh, if it hurts,
scream loud. I want to hear.
Cynda Bergen.
Who?
Cynda Bergen. Don't tell me you don't remember her.
Her father owned that incredible Viennese bakery
next to your dad's place?
Well, the two of you used to play together
for hours in the kitchen when you were little.
She was crazy about you, and apparently, still is.
I'm not saying she wasn't qualified.
She is? How do you know?
Eclairs, for later.
Her father tells me she's unattached,
and she talks about you all the time.
I find that a little hard to believe.
No, I don't think I'm being unreasonable.
I was just hoping you could send over someone who wasn't quite so...
Well, so young.
Her dad showed me a picture, Bay.
I just think a more...
Mature nanny would be better for me.
I mean, for us, for Owen.
And if it works out, you could take her to that dance.
I don't know, Greer. I don't think I'm ready to date yet.
Oh, you'll never know if you don't try.
I mean, come on, what is the worst thing that could happen?
So, you got a good drama club over there at Grant?
I guess.
I don't know. I'm not really into drama stuff, so...
Oh.
Well, theater's my life.
We're doing Taming of the Shrew this year.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, I'm playing Kate.
Kate? Really?
The shrew.
Oh.
Well, that's... That's good for you.
I have a cousin named Barney.
Uh-huh?
Yeah, we call him Barn sometimes.
Does anyone ever call you Barn?
No.
Because my name is Bailey.
-It is? -Mmm-hmm.
Oh, I'm sorry.
This... This girl I was seeing, she'd call me Barley sometimes.
I don't get it.
-Hi. -Hi.
-I'm Julia Salinger. -Uh-huh.
Greer's friend?
Uh, Greer Erikson.
Oh, oh, sure, of course, yeah.
She's great, isn't she?
-Yeah, she's real cool. -Yeah.
-Here, have a seat. -Thanks.
So, what are we doing? We...
Filling out that portfolio?
What? Oh, no, I've never done this before.
You're kidding?
That a problem?
No, no, no, no. I...
I just figured you'd modeled.
You have an incredible face.
-Really? -Trust me.
I look at faces all day, and...
You're fantastic.
Okay.
When should we do this?
Um, any afternoon's good for me.
Afternoons...
You know, I'm going to need that 800 bucks upfront.
-800? -I know it's steep,
but it's the going rate.
You can ask around.
No, that's okay. If you're a friend of Greer's...
I trust you.
Okay, afternoons.
Keep it up a little bit.
Elbow in.
Okay, let's work on...
What's the matter?
Nothing.
Really.
So after two hours, she still thought your name was Barney?
And that was the good part of the date.
Oh, God.
What are we going to do about you?
You know something?
You remind me so much of this guy I fell in love with in college.
His name was Sam,
and he played the clarinet, hockey, and tournament chess.
Yeah, that sounds just like me.
The thing I loved the most about him
was that he had no idea how terrific he was.
I remember, the first few times I kissed him,
he'd get this look on his face as if he couldn't believe
that any woman would think he was that wonderful.
Good night. I'm going to bed.
Jule, what's the deal with this...
Whoa. Did I miss an earthquake?
We're preparing for Julia's session.
-You're what? -She's gonna be a model.
Greer set it up.
She introduced me to a photographer
who said I've got a great face and wants to take my picture.
He thinks maybe I can get work, Charlie. He's real great.
This photographer's name better not be Ed Brighton.
Yeah, but--
You wrote an $800 check to a photographer?
What are you, stupid? Checks are for emergencies, Julia.
I'll pay it back.
How?
God, what is Greer thinking?
She thinks maybe I could make money as a model.
Yeah, you know, Christy Turlington makes $25,000 a day.
Look...
Julia, Greer's not the greatest financial advisor in the world.
What does that mean?
You remember that wreath she sent us?
Well, two weeks after the funeral, we got billed for it.
I'm sure it was just a mistake.
Yeah, right. Well, I still ended up paying.
Look, it wasn't just her. Ed thought so too. He said I was beautiful.
And you bought it?
For God's sake, Julia, for 800 bucks, I'd tell you you were beautiful, too.
He wasn't lying.
I just can't believe you'd do something as stupid as this.
He wasn't lying.
Whoa.
Sorry.
Can't sleep, huh?
Me neither.
I'm gonna leave, Bailey.
You are?
First thing in the morning.
I made a reservation at the Post Hotel.
Why?
I made a mistake.
Tonight...
I'm so sorry if I embarrassed you.
-You're sorry? -I wasn't thinking.
Greer...
So I should go. Tell the others.
Did you have a big wedding?
Uh, pretty big. 100 people.
Have you been married a long time?
Uh, three years.
Three years.
Three whole years, wow.
Marriage. The big C...
Commitment.
It's not as easy as I thought it would be.
We're kind of looking into the idea of an open marriage.
My instinct tells me
we should stay away from high-fashion stuff with you
and go more for the girl next door.
Really?
You don't really have that haute couture, Vogue magazine thing going.
I think you're better for catalog work.
What, dressed in flannel shirts like a lumberjack or something?
Hey, given my choice,
I'd take catalog work any day.
It pays well, it's run by sane people,
and best of all...
They don't hire supermodels.
What's wrong with supermodels?
How many supermodels does it take to screw in a light bulb?
I don't know.
One. She just sits there, and the whole world revolves around her.
Yeah.
Why does a supermodel wear shoulder pads?
Why?
I don't know.
Great. Okay, keep your chin down. Good.
Oh, now, just turn a little bit to the left.
Yeah, hold that right there.
Great.
You really are beautiful, you know that?
Yeah.
Okay, so it was probably nothing, right?
Doesn't sound like nothing.
Really?
Because it didn't feel like nothing.
It felt more like something.
Then it was probably something.
Well, if it was nothing,
why would she go to a hotel?
I think if it was nothing, she'd stay.
Maybe.
Maybe, but God, Will,
what would someone like her see in someone like me?
Life is full of big mysteries, Bay.
How do... How do they get the cheese in those hot dogs?
Huh? You ever think about that?
I'm telling you, man, it's something,
and you've got to do something about it.
I don't know, man.
I don't want to make a fool out of myself.
Hey, every day you get out of bed,
you make a fool out of yourself.
What you have to ask yourself is,
"Do I want to let this opportunity pass me by?
Do I really want to live life?"
And, "Does she have a friend for Will?"
You missed your lesson today.
Did I?
I guess I forgot.
Claudia, we've had lessons every Thursday
for the last three years, and you forgot?
You could have called.
You're right. I'm sorry.
What's going on here?
Nothing.
No, something's different.
You're different.
And the only thing I can think of
that has changed between us is that I told you I'm gay.
Is that it?
Maybe.
And you're having a problem with that.
If you are, then at the very least,
you owed it to me to come talk to me about it.
I mean, that's the way you and I always deal with stuff, Claudia,
like friends.
Instead, you shut me out. You stood me up.
What do you want me to say?
That it doesn't matter.
Because it shouldn't.
Look, my being gay doesn't have anything to do with you, Claudia.
It doesn't have anything to do with your music.
But since you seem to think it does,
maybe we shouldn't be working together.
Where's Greer?
She's not here.
Damn, I wanted to tell her about the photo session.
You know, you're totally wrong about the photography guy.
I just spent three hours with him, and he was completely cool,
and he thinks I could have a great career, like Greer said.
Wait, Jule.
I gotta tell you something.
She never met him.
What?
Greer... Never met Ed Brighton.
He's not an old friend of hers. He's not a famous photographer.
She just got his name out of the phone book.
You don't know what you're talking about.
He isn't someone you can trust.
He's just some guy you gave a lot of money to.
When is she coming back?
She's not. She split. She went to some hotel.
What, she left without saying goodbye? Why?
Beats me.
I can't explain her.
I'm sorry.
-No, you're not. -Yeah, I am.
I really am.
Look, maybe you can get the money back.
Hi.
I was... I was just kind of in the neighborhood, so...
Okay.
This is nice.
This is...
This is one of their regular rooms?
Hmm. It's great. It's a really nice hotel. The lobby was very...
Spacious.
Can I get you something to drink?
You mean, like, room service? No, no, that's too much.
It's, like, two-fifty for a soda.
No, it's, uh... Water.
Yeah, a glass of water.
-It's not very cold. -That's okay.
I'm finished.
Bailey...
What? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't... I didn't mean to...
I don't know what I'm doing here. I...
I... I feel like such an idiot. I just... I mean...
I'm so nervous.
I don't know what I'm doing here.
Relax. It's okay.
No, I'm so bad at this. I don't know how...
To read people. I can't read anyone. I just...
I don't have any idea what people are thinking.
Girls... Women.
I just... I thought that...
-I thought... -What?
You didn't turn away from me.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm embarrassing you, and I'm humiliating myself.
No.
You read signals just fine.
I do?
I think you are really, really beautiful.
-So, what happens now? -Oh, Bailey...
I know what I want.
Um...
Let's just say...
That it's something that we both really want.
But as two adults,
we just thought better of it.
Where have you guys been?
Uh, just out.
I want to talk to you.
-Is there a problem, Charlie? -Yeah.
What were you doing with Julia?
I mean, you get her all excited about this photographer guy,
and it turns out he's no one. He's just...
A name from the phone book.
Why would you do that to me?
Oh, Julia,
I just wanted you to be happy.
I just wanted you to feel great about yourself.
There are so many reasons--
Yeah, right, so many reasons that I have to pay someone to tell me I'm beautiful.
Oh, no, honey, that's not true at all.
Look, maybe it was a lie about the photographer,
but that doesn't mean it isn't the truth about you.
And then when I want to ask you about it, you're gone, you just take off.
I'm sorry.
It's just...
It would've been better if you'd just never started being my friend.
Oh, Julia.
You just... End up hurting people who believe in you
when so much of what you say is a lie.
I called your publisher.
There is no promo tour.
He says he hasn't even seen you in a year.
I was going to get in touch with him as soon as I finish a few--
Look, it doesn't matter.
It really doesn't matter now.
You guys, none of this was meant to hurt any of you.
When I came here, you all felt so badly about yourselves,
and it seemed to me that there was another way of looking at your situations,
and if I could help you to see that,
if I could make you feel better--
Yeah, but, Greer, pretending everything is great
does not automatically make it great.
It can. It can help.
That's all I wanted to do.
That's all any of this was about.
I'm sorry.
I think you should leave.
Listen, don't ever sell yourself short.
You do a pretty damn good job taking care of these kids.
What do you need, Claud?
I think I did something bad.
I skipped my violin lesson.
Uh-huh. Well,
you can probably make it up.
Maybe not.
I skipped it because Ross is gay.
What?
He's gay.
I know that, but why would you skip your lesson?
I don't know. It just...
It just felt weird.
You think I did something really bad?
Well...
He's your friend.
I know.
I mean,
do you have any friends who are gay?
Some.
And it doesn't matter to you?
It's different, and...
I don't completely understand it all the time, you know,
but lots of people are different in lots of different ways,
and...
I know it shouldn't matter.
I mean, I know that.
It doesn't change a friendship.
It shouldn't change the way you feel about Ross.
It just makes me mad.
What, at him?
I just wish...
Can't he stop being gay?
I don't think so.
That's just the way it is.
Well, I guess that's kind of too bad.
Not if you're doing what you want,
not if you're happy.
Hey, Julia, good to see you.
I want my money back.
You what? Why?
You lied to me.
You never met Greer. You only said you did so you could get my money.
Oh, just calm down a minute, just wait a sec.
I would not have taken your money
if I didn't think that it was worthwhile for you to have pictures made.
Right, you lied to me before, and now you're being completely straight.
Look, your friend told me to say that I knew her so that it would relax you,
which it did, right?
Yeah, it relaxed me out of 800 bucks.
Do you have any idea what $800 means to me?
Sure I do,
but it was worth it.
Your pictures are great.
You're just saying that so you can keep the money.
Look, Julia, I can keep the money no matter what.
I'm saying it because it's true.
Take a look.
And it's not just my opinion.
A friend of mine who has an agency came by today.
He saw these, and he asked about you.
Really? What for?
For work.
He's looking for faces for picture frames.
For what?
You know, when you buy a picture frame
and it's already got a picture of somebody in it? He needs faces for that.
And he was interested in me?
It's not as much money as catalog work, but it's cash.
Look, here's his card.
Give him a call.
Hey, Claud.
What's so important?
An apology.
It's pretty important, don't you think?
I'm sorry, Ross.
I want you to be my teacher.
But if you don't want to do that, or...
Even be friends with me anymore...
Claudia...
I want to be friends with you
if you want to treat me like a friend.
I do.
I'm really sorry.
I guess I was just...
Kind of disappointed.
And... And sad.
Sad?
Yeah.
It's pretty stupid...
But ever since that first time I met you...
Remember?
When I played, I was so nervous,
I really messed up my bowing.
Ever since then, I...
I guess I kind of thought, you know...
You were really nice to me...
And you were sort of cute, too.
I guess maybe I just thought, you know, when I grew up...
Maybe you'd want to get married...
To me.
Might be a little old for you.
I could've learned to overlook it...
But since we're never going to get past that other issue...
I thought I'd do the next best thing.
Ross, I'd like you to meet Nick.
-Nick will be our waiter tonight. -Claudia!
Nick likes water skiing and Monty Python.
Come in.
Just set it down by the bed, please.
I thought you were room service.
I need to know what happened between us last night.
I need to know what you were doing,
if it was all a game, or if the whole thing was some kind of...
Charity.
-You think I'd do that? -Yeah, I think you might,
to make me feel better.
Like you were trying to make Julia feel better, like you...
Like you made her think she was special. And it turns out--
You are special, Bailey.
I wasn't playing any game with you.
No?
No.
So you wanted to be with me.
It wasn't a charity, Bailey.
I can't think of anyone who needs that kind of charity less.
Do you believe that?
I want to.
Believe it.
Hi. Who's here?
-Everyone. -Really?
-Who did you come with? -No one.
Wow. Really?
Really.
Catch you later.
You want to dance?
So she left?
So it was nothing after all?
Yeah, it was nothing.
Huh.
How come that kind of nothing never happens to me?
Who you looking for?
I don't know yet.
There was that one guy I kind of liked,
the one I was dancing with.
You danced with every guy there, Julia.
Even one with a shaved head.
You can't date a guy with a shaved head. It would scare Claudia.
On second thought, it would scare me.
So...
Meet anyone great?
No.
But, you know, so what?
I still had a good time. I usually hate those things.
Yeah, but if you're in the right mood...
Right.
So how do you get in the right mood?
Hmm.
Well, then, here's to Greer.
Yeah, here's to her.
What are we toasting?
The fact that we kind of got things under control.
Except that little nanny problem.
-Yeah. -Oh, I didn't tell you? I found someone.
You did?
Experienced in child care, excellent references...
What about the temptation issue?
-Not a problem. -Are you sure?
-Trust me. -What's her name?
Bill.
Excuse me, there isn't one female nanny you trust yourself around?
Hey, you said, "Make sure there aren't gonna be any problems." So...
That's just a little pathetic, Charlie.
Yeah, well...
So this Bill guy, is he cute?
Oh, no.
Well?
Don't even think about it.